Australian Tour 2004

August 30th

We arrive at Heathrow at 7:00 pm loaded to the gills with luggage. The girl at Qantas check-in informs us that we are 39kgs over our baggage allowance; this is going to cost in excess of £1100!! After a bit of juggling she allows us (Damian, Bruce and myself) 90kgs so we are now only 9kgs overweight and at £28 per kilo its a mere 252 quid. Andy had opted to travel BA as they have a World Traveller Plus (between Cattle and First class). We then learn that through a friend he got upgraded to First. Anyway after draining our suitcases of CDs we manage to get within the limit and break the world hand luggage record. Had a great journey with Qantas. Stopped at Bankok airport for 2 hours and decide to have a pint. Damian orders 3 beers and is aghast to find that they cost in excess of £20. Imagine our surprise when 3 pitchers of lager turn up; we suffered on and drank them anyway. Watched a few films on the plane: ENVY (Ben Stiller, Jack Black) non-starter, wait for DVD, SUPERSIZE ME great documentary about fast food; we've all vowed to never dine beneath the arches again!

September 1st

We arrive at Sydney airport and are met by our friend/driver/all around top bloke Garry O'Hoy. We arrive at the Coogee Sands apartments at 9:00 am and decide on breakfast at a nearby cafe and a few hours sleep. At 5:00pm we meet with the promoter to clarify a few points. (They haven't hired the right guitar amp and keyboard!!!) At 8:00pm we decide it's time for a 'Welcome to Australia' drink. Steve joins us at 9:00pm having just flown in. He looks tired but we persuade him that a few beers will do him good! We choose the Coogee Bay Hotel and start demolishing their stock of Crown lager until we retire sensibly at 4:00am after being ejected into the pouring rain.

September 2nd The Footy Show Live TV

For some freakish reason I wake at 7:45am. Venture to local cafe and had breakfast. Waitress asked if Def Leppard were here yesterday! Didn't see any of the others till we met at 4:00pm to go to Channel 9 TV studios (cue Fast Show jokes). We arrive looking like Night of the Living Dead thanks to our heroic drinking of Crown lager the night before. We're shown to our dressing room where Bruce ensconces himself for a few hours rest. (He will later earn the nickname 'SLEEP'). We meet the guys from The Datsuns who are also on the show and they are cool guys and fans of the band! Our dressing room is next door to the gold medalist winning girls from the Australian Olympic team; talk about chalk and cheese! They let us hold the medals and are lovely. We do a run through of Blitz at 7:00 so they can set the cameras. The producer then asks if we would mind doing a half hour set instead!! (We have no keyboard at the moment and decide on one song). The singer in the house band is from the Screaming Jets. He pops in to say hello and is a funny guy. Vince Vaughn (Starsky & Hutch, Dodgeball) passes us in the hall and wishes us luck. We perform live at 10:50 and I've never been so afraid in my life. Trembling with fear the band performs a blistering Blitz (even if I do say so myself). Haven't seen the footage yet so I can't comment on my alleged Clarence syndrome (crossed eyes). Tiredness and nerves can only be blamed because we were totally sober!. Lots of back slapping after the show finishes and we manage to meet Miss Universe! Whilst having our photo taken with the lovely Miss Hawkins I’m horribly aware that the stage clothes I’m wearing are less than pleasant to the nose. Andy says "Don't worry. She'll probably think that it was me!" We get an early night to prepare for our first show.

September 3rd Rooty Hill RSL Club

Today is our first show. We relocate to Ashfield in West Sydney as this is geographically sensible for the next few shows. Steve is confined to his room as our the promoters can't get hold of the keyboard we need. They have managed to find a Korg Triton which is a great instrument but will need to be programmed with all the sounds we require. We get caught in traffic on the way and are late arriving for soundcheck. A few teething problems with the backline equipment but we eventually get everything working. Played a really good show. We have decided that for all these shows we will go straight to a signing/meet and greet session immediately after finishing Blitz. Nearly everyone in the venue forms a queue that takes over an hour to get through but it's fantastic for us to get to meet everyone and sign albums, shirts, tickets, jeans, arms...! Garry (The Captain) is selling merchandise and doing a great job. We go to a local bar and celebrate with a few Crownies.

September 4th Mount Prichard

Steve still isn't happy with the keyboard sounds and has to spend another day programming. We go and do some shopping. We've decided that when the tour finishes we'll stop in Bangkok for a few nights. This will help break the journey up and give us a chance to buy tons of stuff; Damian assures us that Thailand is very cheap. We go to a local travel agent who manages to re-book our tickets for us. Another well attended show. Steve's new keyboard sounds are amazing and really make a difference. We all played well and had another great gig. The meet and greet was brilliant. Australian fans are such nice people: we love it here. After show drinks at the Ashfield Hotel. Last to leave, Barfly and The Captain stumble home at 5:40am. I am later christened AWAKE by Damian to compliment Bruce's new moniker of SLEEP

September 5th Castle Hill RSL Club

Woke up to hailstones the size of golf balls. The weather is hideous today. We arrive at the venue to find that there is no staff for the auditorium. No lighting guy, no stage manager and we have to assemble the stage ourselves. This takes about three hours but we all muck in and lend a hand. Damian gets the PA sounding mega. A quick crash course finds our tour manager Magic on lights with The Captain on follow spot. The crowd is a bit smaller than the last 2 shows but it is a Sunday. We play a blinder and the crowd is really rocking. Best one so far. We're off tomorrow so it would be rude not to have a few Crowns.

September 6th Day Off

The weather is lovely today so Bruce, Damian and I head off in search of golf. We manage 18 holes at a local course. Damian emerged victorious but Sleep and I question his handicap. We go to The Rocks in Sydney for a band meal and are joined by some friends. Eating lobster and drinking fine wine beneath the Harbour Bridge is something that will never be forgotten

September 7th Day Off

We all had a relaxing day. Bit of shopping, games of pool... Go to a local Tepan-Yaki restaurant for dinner which was fantastic. Japanese cooking with lots of food being thrown about (mostly in Steve's lap). We had a riot. Everyone feeling fatigued we retire for an early night at 10:30pm

September 8th Campelltown RSL Club

Today is my birthday so I’m looking forward to the show after 2 busy days off. It's a Wednesday (School night) so the crowd is a little bit smaller than previous shows but just as enthusiastic. The guys surprise me pre-show with some lovely champagne so we're all in good spirits for the gig. Had a great time and once again met some lovely people. Backstage, our tour manager Magic introduces me to a girl who didn't get my autograph. I reach for a pen by which time she has removed most of her clothing and says, "I'm your birthday present". A bloody strip-o-gram in the dressing room!!!!! It was highly embarrassing yet still entertaining. We all got to bed sensibly by 11:30 as we are flying up to Mackay in the morning.

September 9th Bakers Creek Tavern - Mackay

Garry takes us to the airport and the band and Damian fly to Mackay. Magic and The Captain are taking our equipment up to Brisbane for Friday's show. Fingers crossed that the people in Mackay can rent the right stuff for us. We're met at Mackay airport by the club owner Gavin, his wife Lorraine and little Jimmy. We go straight to soundcheck and we've all got a really good feeling about tonight's show; helped by the ice cold Crownies Gavin forces upon us. All the equipment is spot on. Had lovely steak dinners and time for a quick trip to the hotel to shower. Returning to the gig at 8:00pm Lorraine tells us that they're going to have to shut the front doors as they can't fit any more people in! We hit the stage at 8:30pm and from the first song it was absolutely amazing. I can honestly it's the most electrifying show that this band has ever performed - the crowd were unbelievable. The aftershow signing session is chaotic. We have 1 box of merchandise (40 DVDs and 40 CDs) and Damian manages to sell the lot in less than 15 minutes. I'm helping take the cash and Andy's keeping a running stock take by writing big numbers on the 'For Sale' poster as to how many of each are remaining. It's like bid-up.tv gone mad. Damian and I are seriously thinking of expanding our horizons and breaking into the car boot sale market. We're all exhausted and head back to the hotel at midnight. The taxi driver informs me that the Platinum Lounge nightclub is open till 2:00am and it's only around the corner. I'm still buzzing from the show and the sandman won't be visiting soon so off I go.....

September 10th Seagulls - Gold Coast

Gavin picks us up at 9:00am and takes us to the airport for our flight to Brisbane. Can't help wondering to myself why I stayed out until 3:30 ? Had a great time and I think that Mackay will be one of the main highlights of this tour. En route to Tweeds Head we call in at Borrie's Tailors in the Gold Coast. They make fantastic stage clothes. We all spend lots of money but have bought some great stuff. The show was great and the signing session was fun as we met lots of old and new friends.

September 11th Lismore Workers Club

Had a few hours shopping and lunch at Byron Bay on the way to Lismore. It's 26 degrees here in the prime middle of winter!

September 12th Kedron Wavers - Brisbane

Today's show is at 2:00pm! Voices just about awake. Had a fantastic gig - if it had been nighttime it could have rivaled Mackay. Had dinner at Brett's Seafood Restaurant on the river with some friends. Seafood platter and Leuwins wine - absolutely brilliant.

September 13th Day off

Fly to Melbourne. We have to be up hideously early tomorrow to perform on TV; Good Morning Australia with Bert Newton. Went for a nice Thai dinner and retired at 10:00pm

September 14th Good Morning Australia/Essendon Football Club

Up at 6:00am to arrive at Channel 10 studios for 7:00am. We're performing Blitz live at 10:50am and we are all praying our voices will wake up. Andy is the first guest at 9:00am and has a great interview with Bert Newton. We close the show with Blitz and another great performance. Over to Essendon Footy Club for a charity fundraiser. The tickets are limited and all proceeds donated to the Hospice for special children. These kids are terminally ill and doing anything to help is a wonderful feeling; so we are delighted to offer our services for free. The club raised $22,000.00 and Andy presents the cheque to the Hospice directors. We played a great show despite the fact that 3 of us have hacking coughs and runny noses due to the changes in climate. SLEEP is the only one not afflicted.

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